{"id":275,"date":"2006-07-22T21:03:09","date_gmt":"2006-07-23T04:03:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.andrewandlisa.org\/?p=275"},"modified":"2006-07-22T21:03:09","modified_gmt":"2006-07-23T04:03:09","slug":"what-its-like-to-live-with-a-pregnant-woman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.andrewandlisa.org\/?p=275","title":{"rendered":"What it’s like to live with a pregnant woman"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is a down-and-clean guide for those who may find themselves in a similar situation.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 I make no representations about the universality of the experience; it’s just what one guy’s going through with his woman.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Stock up on Cheetos.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 I know the common cultural perception is that pickles are the order of the day, but this is definitively NOT the case.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 Cheetos rule.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 And have I mentioned macaroni and cheese?\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 We buy it by the case.<\/li>\n
  2. She smells like a hound dog.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 I don’t mean that in the sense of her olfactorial emanations, but the operation of her proboscis itself.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 She can smell things that no one else can.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 We’ll walk into a room together and she’ll pick up on a scent that won’t hit me for several more weeks.<\/li>\n
  3. She’s assuming an altogether new shape.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 This is comfortable for neither of us.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 It affects her mainly in the belly and back and me mainly in the ears.<\/li>\n
  4. We waste lots of money at Starbucks.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 She gets this awful drink that’s bitter, and asks that the baristas hold any possible sweetening or additions of good taste.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 And I’m not talking about coffee: she gets an unsweetened passionfruit tea.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 Blecht!<\/li>\n
  5. Sleeping is a chore.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 Only the left side works, but that isn’t comfortable very often.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 Can you imagine not sleeping well for 9 months?!\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 I can’t.<\/li>\n
  6. Pregnancyweekly.com is our web destination of choice these days.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 They tell us not only what’s going on with the baby, but also what all the cool pregnant people are doing these days.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 According to pregnancyweekly.com, yoga is big these days.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 So is shopping, and they just happen to give us lots of links to places we can shop online.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 They also tell us that our baby is the size of a large pickle this week.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 Hm, not the first comparison I would have made, but it works.<\/li>\n
  7. When else will you buy clothes that you won’t be able to wear for more than a few months?<\/li>\n
  8. Lisa insists she’s losing brain cells.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 I say that’s a good way to start your parenting life.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 First the brain cells, then the hair.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    I’m sure there will be more later, but we’ll all have to hang on for that!\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 Until then, I have some Cheetos to buy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    This is a down-and-clean guide for those who may find themselves in a similar situation.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 I make no representations about the universality of the experience; it’s just what one guy’s going through with his woman. Stock up on Cheetos.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 I know the common cultural perception is that pickles are the order of the day, but … Continue reading What it’s like to live with a pregnant woman<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[6,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-275","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-news","category-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pdZlL-4r","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andrewandlisa.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/275","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andrewandlisa.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andrewandlisa.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andrewandlisa.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andrewandlisa.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=275"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.andrewandlisa.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/275\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andrewandlisa.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=275"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andrewandlisa.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=275"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andrewandlisa.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=275"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}