I walked outside today, and my skin all burned off.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 That was my first clue that it’s too hot for normal human beings to live here.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 I ran back inside.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 While I was washing my crusty burnt skin off in the kitchen sink, Lisa was sitting in the living room watching television.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 I overhead the weather guy say that the temperature outside wouldn’t dip below 100 degrees (fahrenheit) for the next 20 straight days.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 That’s when I started beliving in Global Warming.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 Then Al Gore showed up at my door step (How did he know so quickly when I started believing in Global Warming?!\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 Damn NSA!) and my day started getting wierd.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 He was wearing an obnoxiously loud Hawaiian shirt and some of that neon green sunblock stuff on his nose.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 Boy, were his legs white!\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 He had pet penguins toddling along after him.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 3 of them.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 He wanted me to come with him, but wouldn’t say where.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 He stretched out his hands, and in one hand there was a blue pill, while the other held a red pill.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 But it wasn’t a pill, it was an Easter egg.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 And the pills didn’t have anything to do with where he wanted me to go.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 He just said that the blue one was Nyquil (he had a cold) and the Easter Egg was a present.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 Al doesn’t like to show up at people’s houses empty-handed.<\/p>\n
So he asked me again if I’d go with him.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 The front door was still open, and I peeked around it to see the world outside.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 All of a sudden……..SPLAT!\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 An egg fell out of the sky and landed on the walkway in front of my house.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 It cooked right away (like your brain on drugs), and I knew it was too hot to go outside.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 Not even if Al covered me with his water-gun.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 I was still smarting from losing all of my skin, and who knows what Al Gore keeps in his water gun!\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 Or how clean it is.<\/p>\n
He pleaded with me, and said I could use his snorkel.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 That’s when I got really suspicious.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 I couldn’t see any snorkel, and I don’t know if people without skin can legally use snorkels, anyway.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 I began to think that it was all a setup.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 That’s when Lisa shook me, and I said, “Ouch!” because it should hurt if someone shakes you and you don’t have any shoulder-skin.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 But it didn’t hurt, and I wondered why.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 I was still wondering when I opened my eyes.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 “Honey…. Andrew…,” she said.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 “We’d better get up.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 I heard it’s going to be hot today.”\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 I just groaned and roilled back to my pillow.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 Not again!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I walked outside today, and my skin all burned off.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 That was my first clue that it’s too hot for normal human beings to live here.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 I ran back inside.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 While I was washing my crusty burnt skin off in the kitchen sink, Lisa was sitting in the living room watching television.\u00c3\u0192\u00e2\u20ac\u0161\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0 I overhead the … Continue reading It’s hot<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20,13,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-276","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fiction","category-humor","category-misc"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pdZlL-4s","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andrewandlisa.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/276","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andrewandlisa.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andrewandlisa.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andrewandlisa.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andrewandlisa.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=276"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.andrewandlisa.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/276\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andrewandlisa.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=276"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andrewandlisa.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=276"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andrewandlisa.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=276"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}